A red flag is a warning sign that someone, or something about them, is likely to cause you trouble. In dating it means behaviour you shouldn't ignore: lying, controlling, disappearing for days, being rude to a waiter. The phrase comes from the real flag used to signal danger, on a race track, a beach or a railway line.
Examples of dating red flags
- Every ex is "crazy" and none of it was their fault.
- They're charming to you and cruel to people who can't help them.
- They check your phone, or get angry when you don't answer within the hour.
- They move fast, with love-bombing in week one and silence in week six.
- Their story changes depending on who they tell it to.
One of these might be a bad day. A pattern is a red flag.
Green flags, beige flags and "ignoring the red flag"
A green flag is the opposite: a sign someone is good for you, like saying sorry properly or texting back when they said they would. A beige flag is a harmless oddity that isn't a deal-breaker, like owning eleven identical black shirts. And "red flags are just flags" is the joke for someone ignoring all of the above because the person is attractive.
Why people joke about being the red flag
Online, saying "I'm the red flag" is a way to admit your faults before anyone else points them out. It's self-deprecating and a bit proud at the same time. The joke only works if there's some truth in it, which is why it spreads: everyone knows someone who texts at 2 a.m., checks the ex's profile and then asks why they can't move on.
Red flag, on a shirt
Our version puts it on the back: She Has Trust Issues. I Earned Them. It's for the person who knows exactly why their ex doesn't trust anyone anymore. Wear it ironically, or don't.
€38, oversized fit, sizes S to 5XL, printed to order in the EU.
Related: what a situationship is. More shirts for people with a past: all shirts.